"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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