I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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