I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
