Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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