u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize