woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
honey bunches of taint.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
