...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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