Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
