u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
