Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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