I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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