She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
