I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you win again, gameday.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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