carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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