your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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