i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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