Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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