well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We smell like vodka and hangover
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