he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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