You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
