Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
