I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
