How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
