Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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