do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
