When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
