Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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