im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
