I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
