i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
