he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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