She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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