You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
