Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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