my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so let's talk penis.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
