are you still at the devil's house?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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