Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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