First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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