After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
