Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am available for nakedness
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