omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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