we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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