It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
