im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
