I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
