all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
