so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
