ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
