Whod you bang
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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