u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
