spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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