Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
