Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
