Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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