"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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