a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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