Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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