well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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