did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
