It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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