is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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