Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
