Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
