a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
