the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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