i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
