Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
