Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
